May is almost done then June will start after. Over the years June has been a month that most weddings occur. This has brought me to write this blog, in addition to a panel discussion I was privy to at church.
In choosing your life partner, what are your expectations? Also, what are you presenting to the relationship? How do you want or expect to be treated and do you plan to reciprocate? There are some who prefer to receive but not like to give.
Let us look at some viewpoints from the perspective of the male as well as female.
Male perspective: Men like to feel respected.They want to know that their spouse respects the decisions that they make even if they don’t agree with them. They would want to be allowed to make their choice.
One can look at it and go, “but if they’re wrong it's pointless agreeing.” True that may be so but there are ways in which it can be done that he will feel loved and not disrespected. Even asking a man where he is going when he is going out is disrespectful by his perception. Telling him which way to drive and being a passenger-driver is also a turnoff for him.
Men see themselves as the leader, the provider in the home and as such want to be treated that way. Even if he is earning less than his wife or may be unemployed, he still expects to feel respected and that his opinion matters.
Another perspective is, if there is a concern, men want to be asked or if there is something that the woman wants, then just tell him as he is not a mind reader. Also, he hates when women jump to conclusions instead of asking him to know the truth.
Finally, men want to be thanked, they want to feel appreciated and needed. We know and they know that they are not perfect so instead of outright criticizing him, compliment him first then work in the negative, he will appreciate you more for it. Finally, stroke his ego and be genuine about it.
Female perspective: Women are more emotional and want to feel a connection to their mate. Some might see it as needy or wanting attention but in truth, that’s their way of getting the connection that they want. A woman wants to feel close to her man and wants to know that the feeling is reciprocated.
Also, a woman wants to know more about her mate, what makes him tick. Again, she is not being clingy or controlling, she just wants him to be more open to her. Another attribute is that she wants her mate to understand her and accept her for who she is instead of trying to change her or fix what is wrong with her. Yes men are problem solvers but sometimes she just want her mate to listen and be there for her.
A woman wants loyalty in her man, to know that he has eyes for her only. She wants to know that he will always look out for her and be there for her. She wants to be the center of his universe and and everyone around them aware of it.
Finally, she wants a mate who is not afraid to apologise when he is wrong as she prefers to resolve issues. In your eyes she may appear to be nagging and dragging out an argument that you have finished a long time ago but in truth she just wants to have closure and the matter resolved.
Depending on who is reading, some might agree and others disagree with what I’m saying. Yes it seems like a tug-o-war but guess what? Relationships are hard work and the benefits are great. There are differences between men and women and each have their own definition of love and moreso, love language. Yes some women may want to connect while others outright want to control but it takes two to tango. There is a difference between male/female perception and individual personality. This is what comes together to make the relationship work. It takes sacrifice, dedication, compromise and effective communication. Get to know each other’s love language and each other’s desires.
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