Parenting vs Child Abuse
Recently I saw a little girl with a scar to the side of her face and I enquired about what happened. She told me that her father was beating her and she ran outside and he kicked her. Seriously?! That is the way for a father to treat his daughter? What could she have done to have deserved such treatment from her own father? I spoke to the guidance counsellor who informed me that the matter was handled and the relevant authorities informed. The other unfortunate thing about this story is that her mother is not any different. This is just one of the many stories that exists as it relates to how parents treat their children in the hope of disciplining them. I also observed a parent beating her child at school because she wore slippers instead of her school shoes which was put out for her to wear. On investigating, this is a common behaviour for this parent. It was obvious that this little girl was hardened by the constant beatings and the mother was not even aware that it was not helping her or her child. I further learnt that the parent was in counselling. In another situation, I heard about a parent who in disciplining her son, sent him to school without shoes. What does all these parents have in common? They are of the view that it is their children and no-one can tell them how to discipline their children. They are so far gone is disciplining that they do not realise that they are doing more harm than good to their children.
What kind of adults are they developing? Yes the child may have done something that warranted punishment but parents need to be cognizant of the way in which they discipline their child/children which borders more on child abuse that parenting.
Below is a list of guidelines which I hope can help.
- Discipline with love, correct your children without anger or resentment.
- Talk with your children quietly about what they did and why, reason with them.
- Never beat nor abuse your children, instead, take away certain privileges as a form of discipline. In this day and age of technology this is so easy to do. Help them to learn the consequences of their actions
- Set rules or guidelines for your children and stick to them.
- It is your duty to make your children feel safe, protected and loved.
- Protect your children from violence and harm.
- Show your children love and respect
- Hug them and do fun activities with them.
- Teach them to be truthful, respectful and kind
Remember children live what they learn as well as learn what they live.
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