Discerning Self
Charlene sang in 1994, “I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me.” What does that really mean? How does one get to ‘me’? It starts by introspection and self-examination. To know oneself, who you are and what makes you tick.
So, who are you really? Do you define yourself by your past, present, or future accomplishments; by your profession or your income; by your spiritual beliefs or your physical attributes? What makes you, you?
Discerning one's-self is more than about material or physical achievements. It goes beyond the surface and spans more the core of the inner being. Self discernment takes you to a place outside of yourself and looking at yourself from an external perspective. No, it’s not an out of body experience. It is about soul searching. Why do you act or react the way you do?
In discerning self, you get to know your personality more, what makes you do the things you do. It will take going back to your childhood to look at your experiences that have shaped who you are today, dissecting your behaviours, the good, the bad and the indifferent layer by layer.
Some of your discovery may not be as you would want. Some may be pleasant or unpleasant, which is not a bad thing as no-one is perfect and that is the purpose of self inspection as the idea should be to get to know you more intimately with the view of changing the not so good ways about yourself.
Here are six steps in getting to know self:
1. Be quiet.
You cannot and will not be able to know yourself until you take the time to be still. It isn’t until you get alone, evaluate yourself and are completely truthful with yourself that you will actually be able to see every facet of your life—the good and the bad. Be quiet and discover your true self.
2. Realize who you truly are, not who you want to be.
I know you already have a set idea of who you desperately want to be, but it might not be who you were designed to be; this is why knowing who you really are is so important. When you know who you are, you will finally see where you and your specific gifts fit into the bigger picture. There are many points along your journey to help you discover yourself,
3. Find what you are good at (and not good at).
This might be the most difficult step in the process of finding who you are, but it’s a necessary one. Sure, it takes trial and error to find what you’re good at, and no, I don’t want you to give up before you’ve had more than enough attempts, but knowing when to quit is a gift that everyone needs to learn.
Quit when you’ve put in ample time and your efforts aren’t giving back in return. What is ample time? Only you can decide that. But when you quit correctly, it isn’t giving up, it’s making room for something better. When your actions do nothing but drain you—rather than produce more passion and increase your drive to do more—that’s a good sign it is time to focus elsewhere. Your strengths will show you who you are.
4. Find what you are passionate about.
Following passion of any kind is a good thing, and you need to pay attention when it comes because it indicates an area of life that you need to pay more attention to. If we’re talking about following your passion in work, it’s a good thing. And if we’re talking about having more passion for life, it’s a good thing. Focus more on passion; understand yourself in better ways, and you’ll make a bigger impact. Passion produces effort and continuous effort produces results.
5. Ask for feedback.
If you don’t know yourself, hearing what others have to say about you is a helpful practice. Ask them two simple questions: “What strengths do you think I need to develop further?” and “What weaknesses do you think I need to work on?” Of course, their opinion isn’t going to be perfect, but their feedback will probably indicate a few areas you should at least take a second look at. This step is especially important for those who are stuck in finding themselves. Sometimes those closest to us can see something we might not be able to see in ourselves.
6. Assess your relationships.
A large aspect of knowing yourself can be found in your relationships. When you realize you’ll never truly know anyone else until you discover yourself, the importance of knowing yourself becomes even more apparent. Almost as much as you need to know yourself, other people also need to know who you are. People need you—the real you.
Use your reflections to fight your biggest fears, because when you understand who you are meant to be, your purpose will finally become bigger than your fears. When you realize who you are, you will spend less time spinning your wheels. Focusing on your strengths gives you the needed traction to begin making a bigger and better difference in the world.
Once you begin to work toward your authentic self, you can begin to live as only you can live, and be the person you are meant to be. Then, what others think about you won't bother you. When you discover your true self, no one else can tell you who you are. Now go take action and find your true self, starting today.
When you know yourself, you will find more peace, and you will find success quicker than ever before.
References:
http://www.success.com/article/6-steps-to-discover-your-true-self
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