Attentionbehaviouralchildchildrenfamilygoodimpulsejamaicamothermotherhoodparentingparentspsychologyrodschoolsparespoilsuccess
Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child, to Whose End?
A mother wails the senseless killing of her child, the community and nation mourns with her. This is just one of the many atrocities that now beset us. It is a dastardly act done by some scum of the earth and everyone calls for justice. When will it all end?When will all this senseless crime and violence against each other end?
This will end when parents start parenting their children. It has to start now and with all stakeholders, whether at school or at church.
For many like myself, we have come from an era of children must be seen and not heard. It was a bit harsh yes but more children behaved. We then moved to a generation where some eased up on their children while others maintained the strict discipline on which they grew up. We then moved to unfortunately where the rod was spared and the child spoilt and unfortunately that’s where we are.
We have now come to a point where parents no longer discipline their children and teachers are afraid to do the same. Sadly, young children’s misbehaviors are seen as ‘cute’ or there is the excuse that he/she is only a baby. Yes they may be young in age but can still be taught the right way and they are capable of learning.
It is said that babies are born ‘tabula rasa’, meaning an empty slate, some theorists will disagree. I’ll say they are born with instinct that lets them know to cry when they are hungry, or need changing or feeling pain or uncomfortableness. And it is deemed okay as he is not corrected otherwise. Guess what? There is someone who hurries to feed , change or soothe them depending on the need. Now they learn that they can command the attention of an adult by crying. Freud refers to the ‘pleasure principle’ or id. At no negative consequent to them a child knows how to manipulate others. As he gets older, walking, talking, he may not cry but can take things that are not given to him or say things that may be inappropriate but considered cute or funny by adults. Easily he learns that he can get whatever he wants still at no consequence. By age six or seven the behaviours continue, now when the parent tries to correct the child, the child resists and so is allowed to do as he pleases as parent has lost control. The child goes to school and having not learnt from home to respect authority, refuses to obey his teacher. The teacher either punishes or ignores the child and the negative behaviour continues.
The child grows into an adult who is only ruled by his id. He can say or do what he wants without any consequence, or so he thinks. He refuses to accept society’s standards as he was never taught right from wrong or appropriate behaviour in different situations. The only thing that he knows and is ruled by is his id. He doesn’t need to ask, he just takes, or better yet, he expects to receive at all times so if anyone denies him his pleasure,then, there will be consequences for them.
This scenario can be multiplied as many times over and we are faced with a generation without guidance or conscience.
We have to go back to parenting, teaching our children right from wrong, which behaviour is appropriate in which situation and the consequences for their actions.
The ‘cute’ child turns into an adult who no one wants to be around, and is not only feared by society but also the parent.
We need to change this cycle.
My Books on Life, Health and Love:
Posts
0 comments